It's the first morning after my 3 day juice fast. I feel like a little bit of a ninja. I didn't starve to death, I managed not to cry looking at peoples photographs of their dinner on social media and I managed to restrain myself from drop-kicking a man eating a donut in the street on day 1. I feel great. I had a juice for breakfast this morning and actually feel like I could carry on for another few days (I wont).
This is my second ever juice fast and they're not at all as torturous as I always imagined them to be. Eating is probably my favourite part of most of my days on this planet. And I get to do it THREE times a day. That's a lie, I do it all day some days. So I thought I'd be in hell on a fast. I had images of me crying mascara down my face as I begged the guy in the newsagents to just let me smell each chocolate bar. But I was totally fine.
The difficult part has been psychological rather than physical. I haven't felt physically hungry once, just mentally hungry. Which isn't hunger at all but, I've come to realise, boredom. Non-essential eating is yet another thing I do to distract myself. It's a problem I think all of us Westerners suffer from, this constant endeavour to stave off boredom. It all comes from this desperate fear of just being, of being with ourselves and all that lurks inside. Or maybe I'm just tripping out from not having eaten for 3 days.
A lot of people look at me like I've gone mental and wonder why the hell I would want to do such a thing as not eat for 3 days. But I feel so good after the fast that it's something I think I'll do every couple of months. I definitely have loads more energy than I had before the fast. My skin has been a bit spotty with the change of weather (and subsequent upping of chocolate intake, maybe) and that's all cleared. But the most surprising effect has been on my mind. I feel like someone has hoovered my brain, I feel like have all this sparkly clarity. It's made me feel mentally strong, I guess because that's what it has taken to get through the 3 days with no cheating - mental strength. I just wonder if I can make it last.